…we all feel free
"Writing creative nonfiction was certainly difficult, not only because of the level of craft that is demanded in that kind of writing, but because of the content with which I was engaging.
These stories essentially recreate the worst days of the lives of each of the women in the book. Reconstructing those scenes and listening to scathing emotional accounts from multiple sources surrounding these moments was an uphill battle both in terms of my own emotional wherewithal and my ability to discern a single monolith of truth from the varying narratives produced by these interviews. Despite the difficulties of it all, collecting these stories allowed me to feel the closest I have ever felt to many of these women, especially to my grandmothers, who never shared these dark portions of their history with me or with any of their other grandchildren.
It allowed me to see whole other dimensions of them that I never knew existed — that many people never realize exists for the elder generations of their own families. At the same time, writing creatively as a craft also begs for the discernment of even the finest details that I discovered have become lost after so many years. What did the air feel like on the day of grandpa’s funeral? How did the dust on the dirt road feel when it touched your feet?
“These are the kinds of details that I labored over, for they play a huge role in the success of the recreation of these scenes. Ultimately, I had to fill in some of the gaps of perceptive details with my own experiences when visiting my parents’ country: the surprisingly crisp air at different times of the day, the way dust laces like silk around one’s toes while walking the streets, and the chorus of voices of melodic creolise that only a Guyanese marketplace can produce. Maintaining creative craft while remaining true to the narratives of these stories was a difficult task to materialize but, in the end, this work became so much more valuable to me, and to readers, because of its ability to skate on both lines. Overall, I am so entirely grateful for this process and all that it has given to me and to the women around me. By learning these stories, recording these stories, and publishing these stories, I feel free — we all feel free."
Excerpt from "Coolitude poetics interview with Elizabeth Jaikaran," by Rajiv Mohabir published online at Jacket2. 28 November 2017
Elizabeth Jaikaran is a New York based author and lawyer, with work published across a spectrum of print and digital media. Trauma: A Collection of Short Stories (Shanti Arts Publishing 2017) is her first book. This work details the impacts of both lived and inherited trauma through the retelling of personal stories.